I had a session with T on Tuesday. I am able to email him once a week, although he usually won't write back. I pour my heart and soul into these emails. I do realize that he reads them on his own time and feel bad about that. He did say that he would do this.

At the beginning of the session, he said that he hadn't read my email. I tried to not feel anything, just to blow it off. I was hurt, though. I had written some things that I though might give him a little insight, I put some of the wonderful responses from here to his email so he would know how valued he is. I fully understand that this is his time, etc., for I know all of this. However, I felt hurt that he did not care enough to read my email.

Later in the conversation, he said something. I told him that I had written a lot about that in my email. His response?
"Okay. Whatever." and then he went on to talk about something, I have no idea what. He asked me a question. I just sat there, all I could think about was the WHATEVER. Finally, I told him I thought he was angry with me. He said, "What a great place to have this happen." I told him that I thought my comment about the information was in the email had made him angry, made him think that I'm an ingrate. I feel guilty for feeling this way.
I then reluctantly told him that I was hurt because he hadn't read it. He said he was sorry, that he took a break from his email for 3 days.

But, I do feel hurt. I had planned to discuss information in my email during our session. I wanted him to see what I wrote. I felt like I painted a picture and he ripped it up and threw it away! He said he wanted me to tell the truth, and he got it. I feel like a monster, though. I just called him to ask him if he could refer my daughter to a psychiatrist. No return call yet. I doubt there will be one.

WHATEVER!