Quote:
Originally Posted by tinamehl5
I lost my whole family 3 years ago. Not dead, just not speaking, and I think it's permanent. It nearly killed me. But I got tired of being lonely. I stepped out and took a chance. I re-met Brenda, who I was friends with years ago. She's not only my best friend, I am hers. She has her own reasons for being lonely. She taught me to have fun again. It takes GUTS to step out, and I had to take a LOT of time to get on my feet again. YOU DO MATTER, and maybe it's each of our responsibility to do the best we can with the life we are given. I am here for you. I do get it.
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You misunderstand a bit of what I am saying. I never have said it is anyone else's responsibility to keep me alive. I was asked a specific question regarding how others would feel. Truth be told - I don't know. There are someone online friends I have who care - but how would they know of my death? They would likely just think I abandoned them and be mad until they forgot about me. That's hard to hear n I know they would likely argue it - but it is still a very probable truth.
I don't know if you read my entire post or not. I don't feel this way from loneliness. I feel this way from a lifetime of abuse by different ppl at different times in different ways - but time periods close enough together to count as a continual cycle of abuse. Now - this finally stopped 3 years ago - only to restart again now.