Those lies of being “weak” and all that ugly poisonous crap. They keep coming back. And I know I’m not the only one poisoned by those lies. (The hated person in the “family” and that hate wants me.. dead

It’s “all my fault”

Why can’t I take their suffering ... everyone’s suffering. Then there actually might be some point to being me

I’m not supposed to have thoughts like this, much less express them. Bad bad paws.

“My doctor” doesn’t want to know. They prescribe meds which I’m allergic to.
And I don’t trust them so don’t speak to them anyway. But even if I tried to speak, they wouldn’t want to listen. I live in the uk. And I’m the most undeserving person in the whole of the country. Quite an accomplishment

I guess maybe just maybe this isn’t true? But when I’m greeted with ....... ..... when I go to visit “my doctor”.

I’m not even particularly inarticulate. But I’ve learnt not to speak. Each time I consult a doctor I feel less “safe” ... exactly the opposite effect I suppose it is meant to have

Maybe I deserve their hate and indifference