Right now your fear of abandonment is going into overdrive. Understandable. The person you loved most left you. Don't let it consume you though. Realize - you are in control of you and always have been. He left you - that was his choice, his control of his life. Now its your time to make your choice for your life. Where will you go from here? What do you want to do? What kind of goals do you have for yourself or what kind of goals can you make for yourself? What steps can you take to make those goals work?

Now - it sounds like you did as most of us do in a relationship - and attached yourself to him. Made him "everything". He was your friend. Your family. Your lover. Your authoritarian at times (though you likely never saw it that way). He was everything all in one. It sounds awesome n is really attractive at first - but also becomes tiring to the other person. Can you imagine trying to fill that many roles in one person's life?

Next time you get in a relationship - try to only give them one role - that of your partner. You will want another relationship the very next time someone looks your way, but I respectfully implore you to wait - and focus on yourself. Learn to be self reliant and self empowered. Learn you are on control of you and that you don't need to impress anyone to gain respect or love - but rather just be yourself, bc we all deserve those things. That is what self respect and self love are about. Once you have those things - then get in another relationship if you want - but don't give up yourself or apologize for being yourself to do it. If you do that - then you should be able to keep defined boundaries and thus a healthy relationship.

I wish you well. ❤