I use to calm myself when I was afraid my T would leave or we were getting ready to break for vacation or something by reminding myself, "she's still here NOW". You only have right this minute, the future isn't guaranteed for anyone. Get what you can from your T as she offers it, learn what you can.

Like Echoes says, you're not weird for having sexual attraction to anyone but I wouldn't spent a lot of time thinking about that/focusing on it if it can't come true. That's like fantasy and doesn't lead anywhere. We all have to learn to sublimate our sexual attractions or other kinds of interests in others that don't "match" what others want too.

If your T is doing you good, let her know exactly how if you can and tell your mom too? It's not really what they hear or think that decides things but what they see and hear from you. T's are very enjoyable to be around but that's not what they're "for".