Hi,

I'm so discouraged. I've been trying so hard to find a counselor or therapist. I was seeing a counselor with whom I had a really good working relationship. He moved out-of-state over 1 1/2 years ago. Since then, I've been trying to find a new therapist. It's been far harder than I imagined. The past two months, I've put even greater effort into it again, because my depression has been tons worse. I met a therapist at the start of December. That one seemed like a perfect match in every way - I could afford to see him; I could get there by public transit; and the number one thing, we seemed to be an excellent match. It was the first time in all those months I felt comfortable talking with somebody! But he decided he would not work with me because I have to use public transit to get there. I've never had a therapist use that as a reason not to see me!!!! I was stunned, and still am.

Then he reommended another therapist. That person said no - same reasoning. That therapist recommended another one, but so far that counselor is not returning the call. However, I think that one isn't in a location I can reach by public transit, so I suspect that one is out anyway.

I called two previous therapists, in desperation. They said no also. I've called several other counseling centers. One problem or another exists. Their fees are too high - this is the usual problem - or I can't get there by public transit. Sometimes they won't take patients unless they will go on antidepressants, which I can't afford (not to mention the fact that for some reason, they don't seem to work for me either...but I can't even pay for them, so that's out of the question). I've run into that several times lately.

I don't know what to do. I keep running into roadblocks. There is a local community health center down the street. Even they won't see me as a patient, because I am on Medicare. They claim that if you have Medicare, you can't be a client because that means you can get help somewhere else. I don't know where else they think you can get help, because no place here accepts Medicare for mental health treatment. But anyway, that clinic is not an option either.

It's upsetting. I can try and try and try to find a counselor, and work very hard at it, but it's really beginning to appear that there just isn't one, however much it is necessary right now.

Thanks for listening. I know this isn't anybody's problem but my own, but I just needed to vent somewhere. I find this really upsetting. It's hard to imagine I can be working on this for over a year and a half and still - no counselor. Part of that time, I was hospitalized for depression as well. Still, no counselor. I think our mental health system is messed up.

Take care,
ErinBear