I haven’t worked since 2014. I was a teacher for nine years at my last job. I had a meltdown over some last minute changes to my job assignment and I quit. I have and am struggling with the trauma and grief. I struggle with the guilt of not getting back to work. I don’t qualify for SSDI as I have not paid into social security since 2005 and even then it was not the required 20/quarters. My husband earns too much on paper for me to qualify for SSI. Besides all that, I have not actually pursued a definitive statement from a doctor/psych that deems me “disabled”. The word malingerer whispers and weaves itself through my depression, anxiety, and fear. It makes me feel as if I have no right to happiness, peace or security. I feel like I am in limbo and there is only one exit sign.