Cedar, so sorry you're going through this. My husband is an electrical engineer and I asked him if there was anything you could do. When we lived in apartments he had an older woman living over him who was hard of hearing and played her television too loud. He knew how to tune a radio to the same frequency as the television and make it, if it got too loud, "squeal" so she had to turn it down to make the annoying sound go away :-) He said there wasn't anything like that to do about stereo bass though :-(

I'm impressed with all you're doing with yourself too. I found this:

http://boombuster.com/

Don't know if it works or if there are other things like it out there that would help you more.