Hi Esthersvirtue,

I do believe we can change things in our lives. I also believe that change is difficult. The first thing is that we have to truly want to change, and often we resist it - we want to keep things the way they are. It can take a lot for people to come to the point where they will consider changing, and even then, big changes often don't happen in a punctiliar way. I think it tends to be a process, and we need to be patient with ourselves during that process. We live in an instant, "McDonald's" society which expects quick results. A lot of people, I think, lose patience when results aren't obtained immediately, and revert back to their old ways in frustration. It takes a lot of patience, resolve, fortitude, and support to keep working at it when somebody wants to make a big change. But I think it can be done, and people truly do make those kinds of changes successfully.

When we resist changes we are contemplating making in our lives, I think it is good fodder for therapy. Therapy can be a place to discuss why it is hard to make those changes - why we fear those changes - what sorts of risks are involved - what benefits are ahead for us if we make the change - what kinds of support we need to build in our lives to help make it possible - all sorts of things. When I lost 100 pounds a few years back, therapy was one of the elements which helped make it successful. To me, that was a big change. Being able to talk about it in a safe place was quite helpful. Having the support from my counselor was also really great during that process.

Other people may have other thoughts, but those are some of mine.

Take care,
ErinBear