I am so sorry you are going through this. Your sister sounds like a very controlling, frankly, ill, person, who has to make everyone around her miserable so she can be happy. Her treatment of your parents sounds like it borders on abuse or neglect, to me.

Honestly, if it were my parents asking me why I didn't visit more often, I would be honest and say that it's because of your sister. I would tell them that her behavior upsets you and causes you a lot of grief, and that it's not that you don't want to visit them, but it's hard for you to be put in a situation where you cannot even have a conversation with them.

Is there any way you can ask your sister to just let you visit your parents alone?

Or is there anyway you can invite just your parents to your place for brunch on a regular basis? That way you have a regular visit with them that she's not involved in? That's really the only solution I see because your sister is clearly not going to change.

Also, is there anyway to enlist your brother in aiding you? How does he view your sister's behavior?

And I totally know how it feels to have family turn on you when you have to be hospitalized for mental illness. Mine gave me the same "Get with the program and get well" treatment when I broke down. Which is just not how it works with PTSD and depression. You don't just get over it with a few days in the hospital. My dad thought my PTSD and depression were like addiction, and that he could "sober me up" from it...OMG, don't even get me started on how well that went.

I hope something happens to help change this situation for you, Open Eyes. I am only in contact with one family member, my mother, because of all the abuse and toxicity of my other family members...you have two parents you care for and losing that would be very sad.

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