Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76
He has a home attendant who comes for 8 hours 3 times a week. So I do have those blocks of time to get away. But that's not enough time to truly get away. I never sleep in my own apartment anymore. I run home for a few hours at a time. Yesterday we went to the emergency room because he had symptoms of a mild stroke. But the symptoms went away and he was okay. I ask myself if he will go on like this for another year, or two or three?
If only nursing homes were better places. I think they're awful. So I keep him at home. I go up and down, moodwise, like a yo-yo. Sometimes I feel fine. It's a cycle. Sometimes I wish we both were out of this life. No intention . . . just a wish to be released from this trap of circumstances.
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I understand the feeling of wanting to be "released from this life". It's a miserable feeling. I currently share it - albeit for slightly differing reasons as you well know.
What may be beneficial to you - in those times the attendants take over - make it a point to go home, and just "do you". Let them take care of him. You - relax, or cook for you, or go shopping, or clean, or whatever you want to do. But - put him aside for those hours. And - why not have attendants for 16hrs or 24hrs at least once a week to give you a time to "breathe"? Just some ideas..