* Home has limited my growth, so I get sicker the more I'm at home.
* I sometimes get suicidal thoughts when I think about university ex(trying) crush and some "douche" in university who's good at studying and teaching others, yet is snide and puts me down. My ex crush adores him for his genius, but regardless she has a date outside university.
* I hardly have any friends left
* My ex therapist said "there's allot to work on", further putting me down. He said "it's because it's hard for me to deal with the 'truth'".

From all this I see one thing - I lost the competition of life. And for that, I .