Hello bewitched: I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. Hopefully coming here to PC can be of some comfort & support. I see you are a two year member although this is your first post. So...welcome to active participation on PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit. You might also consider introducing yourself over on PC's New Member Introductions forum. Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

There's a lot of support that can be available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are the chat rooms where you'll be able to interact with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) So please keep posting!