So drunk. I cannot deal with this, not that I matter. I do every ****ing thing I can and it doesn't matter, I ****ing suck. I am a lowlife. YOu know this and have known this for a long time. I am worth NOTHING. Feel free not to give me hugs because I am so loathesome. I am so ****ing devastated and feel likether's no hope. everything has changed and you see me for who I am, apparently not a good person. I don't want to exist anyymore. I don't want to care. how can I not feel bad about myself? I deserve your hatred and xt DESERVES to be annhialated by a nuclear explosion. **** him and his pomposity. I want to fail to exist, can you make that happen? Can you obliterate me so I don't have to feel the massive pain of hating myself? I am so ****ing oblitgerated that I wish there was nothing left of me. NObody would notice. I have fought the fight, and I am in the end just so completely wiped out and devasted that I don't think I am going to make it. I don't remember when I have been this bad. OMG, how will I Get past this, I can't. Someone please just put me out of my misery.