Hi Brent: I'm pushing 70 years old! I was an only child. I was supposed to be someone too. I turned out to be a nobody. Worse than that I turned out to be a destructive nobody! Looking back over the course of my life takes my breath way... life among the ruins... I know how you feel.

I don't know you but doubt you're selfish or stupid. The good thing here, from my perspective at least is that you're still young & you have insight as well as time to figure out what to do. I wish I had had that. Perhaps I wouldn't have done the kind of wholesale damage I did along the way.

You mentioned going back to live where the stresses are at least less than they are now. I would be the last to suggest you go back to the "hole" you grew up in... whatever that was, if that's the way you feel about it. But it is true, I believe, we all have different levels of ability to deal with pain, agony & stress. And there comes a point where one simply has to accept that one is who one is & figure out how to live within those parameters rather than to continue battering one's head against the wall trying to be something else one is simply not equipped to handle. So I'd like to suggest perhaps you're not so much "broken beyond repair" as you just need to veer off into a new & different direction. As I once heard it said... "no matter how far you've travelled down the wrong road... TURN BACK!" I wish you well...