Quote:
Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind
You misunderstand a bit of what I am saying. I never have said it is anyone else's responsibility to keep me alive. I was asked a specific question regarding how others would feel. Truth be told - I don't know. There are someone online friends I have who care - but how would they know of my death? They would likely just think I abandoned them and be mad until they forgot about me. That's hard to hear n I know they would likely argue it - but it is still a very probable truth.
I don't know if you read my entire post or not. I don't feel this way from loneliness. I feel this way from a lifetime of abuse by different ppl at different times in different ways - but time periods close enough together to count as a continual cycle of abuse. Now - this finally stopped 3 years ago - only to restart again now.
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I'm new here and didn't mean to sound as if I'm trivializing your pain. I've been through a lot; a rape, domestic violence, and my family stuff. I often feel like well, here it comes again. I have just recently realized the value of life, and I'm excited about it. But feeling that hasn't kept me from wondering how the heck do I do this? How do I live? But I do feel strongly that we touch others lives SO much more than we think. I worked in a soup kitchen and a homeless guy, Jeff came in to eat. He was so quiet. But when he was there, we knew it. He ended his life and we missed him. There is more to us than just a bag of flesh. There is a spirit that you can feel, and miss. I hope we can keep talking. I'd like to get to know you.