> How do I get to the point where I have accepted that I have this disorder?

It seems to me that the main barrier to accepting that you have such a disorder is the expectation of being judged defective that one has when admitting it. Once you admit that you have it, then you can begin to explore it more objectively, and, I think, once you do that, and gain more understanding of what causes it, the chances of overcoming the problem increase dramatically.