You did not really trivialize my pain - just misunderstood parts of it. That's why I explained it better for you. I too have been raped - on 3 different occasions, my violin teacher tried to molest me, I was sexually harassed to the point of physical safety, emotionally neglected, verbally n emotionally n psychologically abused, some slight physical abuse, forced to give my only child up for adoption through no fault of my own, and victim to armed robbery. Yes, I too have been through many things. There comes a point in your life When you are just - tired. It isn't that I don't understand everyone has an impact on everyone else. I do. That's one of the reasons I do not suicide - though not a main reason. It is just that I am plain tired. I had 3 yrs of rest from all of this kind of treatment. To think of going back to it - is to much. I am 43. It started when my mom died when I was 12. I am worn. I want a life or I want a death. I no longer want torment. To give me life n then snatch it away after 3 years is cruel. I did nothing to deserve it. I do not have the strength I once possessed. That's all.