I have been struggling with this topic for a while now and feel lost about what to do. For those of you who may have difficulty with being intimate with your partner, how do you handle it? Do some of you have parts that take over which ruin it? I hate bringing it up even in this anonymous setting, but I don’t know what to do. I have been with my spouse for 14 years, and in that time, we have been intimate less than ten times. During those times, things would happen inside of me (e.g., parts appearing), and, well, it was perfectly fine for me to never be intimate in that way again. But for approximately six months, I have noticed a shift in my thinking about this, and I find myself wanting to be intimate with her. She is my wife, she is my friend, she is my rock, she enjoys and appreciates what I give to the relationship, and I love her immensely. We care for each other deeply. I can only imagine how deeper that relationship would be if we were intimate, and as I watch the years go by, I realize how unfortunate it would be if we got to the end of our lives and never really knew each other in that way. I have thought about giving it a try again (of the less-than-ten times we’ve been intimate, the last time was well over seven years ago, possibly longer), but I greatly fear that the parts would emerge again, and in attempting to reconnect with her, I fear I would set the expectation in her that we will continue to be intimate even though I would not be able to keep doing it if the same thing happens with the parts and the awful feelings.

Finally, I am so sorry if this is too much information in this post and is triggering or violates anyone’s boundaries. I just don’t know what to do.