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Carmina
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Member Since Sep 2017
Location: A Growlery in the UK
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Default Nov 18, 2017 at 03:20 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arbie View Post
I'd like for people not to take that exaggerated startle reflex personally. If I jump through the ceiling because you made a noise I wasn't expecting, or because you suddenly came into my field of vision when I didn't know you were there, it doesn't mean I'm afraid of *you.* It's called a reflex because it's something my body does automatically, and there isn't anything anybody can do about it.
This is a real problem in relationships because if someone touches me and I'm not ready for it I sometimes startle like that, and this has led me to back away or push away a hand which has led to all sorts of misunderstandings. I find it very hard to relax while sharing a bed with someone and need a lot of space. It took me ages to figure out why I was responding like this myself.
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