I'm tempted to tell them I'm an alcoholic as I feel a rehab could be more beneficial to me than a traditional hospital. I need at least 30 days I think.....I need someone to help me live again. As of yesterday I decided I AM a drug addict and alcoholic........I think I have been denying the obvious. I need to avoid cannabis but it's hard......I've been good at avoiding alcohol but feel I could slip anytime and that would be disastrous right now. I'm going to try to hold off until Monday and then start making calls. I've been abused in the ER so I just can't. I wish it could be different but it can't.

Thank you to everyone......you have been helpful just by being here. I don't think I'm attention seeking but perhaps I am.......but I think (more like KNOW) that I need attention for good reason. I'm so scared.