Dear T,

You and I had the best long conversation earlier today, did you know that? I bet you didn’t because it was in my head. But I had a rough extended family gathering today, and I sobbed the whole way home, alone in my car (where most of my crying happens—I’ve known how to sob and drive since I was a teenager.) I imagined sobbing in front of you finally, your kind quiet voice being so supportive. One day I’ll cry for reals in front of you, or in front of anyone for that matter. But instead I took long journal notes to discuss this week. As usual, I can talk about the times I cried after the fact with you, how the heartbreak and devastation is so present today.

We’re at the six month mark in a few weeks, did you realize that? I feel like in a lot of ways I’m just getting started, finally learning to be comfortable around you and trust you. But I’m glad you work slowly. I know you said you often get concerned people think you work too slowly, but it’s perfect for me.

Thank you for taking no time off for thanksgiving, I’m kinda shocked and amazed you’re not. I get to see you two days earlier this week because of the holiday (which sadly, will mean two days later the following week.) Thank you for missing exactly 1 weekly session in this past six months, a vacation absence planned well in advance. The consistency and reliability, it means the world to me. You mean the world to me.

See you Tuesday.