Update after almost 2 years ;-).
I have better job, almost all debts are payed, I'm learning programming and searching for job in IT. My concentration is much better. We are still together with my girlfriend but... I fell lonely and disconnected from her often. She said I have not changed since last 2 year. Well I understand, that I'm only one who can help yourself. I also learned that music can help me in hard moments. Its greatest drug ever. Its also good for concentration.
So I'll never give up, live is great trip. I want to thank you gals and guys!