It's not that it hurts, it's just a source of anger and great frustration for me. I gave up on her long ago.

Until a few years ago I blamed myself and accepted the blame for everything. I did things too, though.

My sister left the family many years ago, and I totally support her and understand her decision with that, though the family doesn't.

I just still to this day at times feel responsibile for her, just like I felt as a kid. Nothing I ever did was good enough for her or right in her eyes, and I just shut off to her as a kid.

All that is left are my childhood feelings of anger and resentment, which is hard to let go of. I don't love her. Though I do want the best for her, but I want to remove myself from her life.

I don't like conflict, so I'd just disappear and ghost her.

I was just feeling angry at the time I started this thread and just wanted to vent. Thanks for the replies though.