Hi all... I'm sorry if I'm rambling. I'm just trying to make sense of things. I recently just started figuring out that things wernt ok. I'm a married 33f. I'll try to keep things short and to the point...
After things recently have come to a head with my mom because of something stupid.. I put myself into therapy. She agrees my family is dysfunctional and thinks my mom has NPD/BPD traits, which I think more BPD after researching. She had a very rough childhood and was on her own at 16. She told me her mom was bipolar, and my brother is an undiagnosed alcoholic bipolar.
Anyway, most of the issues resolve around my husband. She has never liked him, though she's never liked anyone I've ever dated.. and made mean nicknames for all of them she was very proud of. She doesn't like him because she doesn't like his quiet personality (because of this she's convinced he hates her, he doesnt), he's not attractive enough, doesn't smile or talk to her enough, not rich enough. Nevermind she doesn't make much attempt to talk to him.
Her attitude towards him has steadily been becoming worse.. not to his face because I never let him near her anymore.. but what she says to me and her non verbal ques. Very passive aggressive. Accuses him of being possessive over me if he shows me any physical affection, she gets upset if he calls or texts me when I'm with her. Accuses him of trying to steal me away from her. She uses the guilted trips and silent treatments to get whay she wants or if you make her mad. She's called demanding I tell her how much my H makes a year because she's so worried about me. Telling me my H is stealing me away from her

Anyway.. the blow up. So my mom likes to call me and demand I take memes and pictures down off Facebook because if her friends see it will embarrass her. Well, about a month ago she did it to me again. Only, this time I didn't give in. I was mad. I had enough of everything. Like i said, no one ever stands up to mom.. you just do what she wants to keep her happy or suffer the consequences. I stewed for awhile then sent her a well thought out text letting her know I didn't like her behaviors regarding Facebook, my H, etc. Made it clear I wasn't attacking her, I was just telling her how I feel.
She sent back a text saying nothing about the points I made or my feelings. Said, well, your H did this and this.. and how dare you come at me like this.. and our relationship can never be repaired.. and she told me my H never wanted them in my life and she wasn't gonna let that happen but it's happened anyway.
Whoa, really? I've tried to talk to her. Even sent her a H alloween pic of our son. Nothing, just silence. I'm 33 and getting the silent treatment right now. This is just so ridiculous it's amazing.. and makes it hurt more at the same time that I'm so easily discarded.
I've tried my best to be a good daughter, especially since they're going through hell with my brother who actually is abusive. At one point I told her maybe she should go NC with bro.. She said she could never do That! Really?! Then why is it so easy to do with me?? I don't get it. I've been mom's emotional dumping ground for everything for my mom, including aspects of my parents marriage that I shouldn't have known at the age that I was..i just don't understand. I don't know if and when she will ever decide to speak to me again.. and if she's just gonna act like nothing happened, because I don't know if I can do that. Does anyone else have similar situation??