Sometimes - life lessons are harsh. In order to learn them we hurt, and we hurt bad. That doesn't mean someone won't come along later who is just as good for n to you or perhaps better though. I know that's hard to believe now, but it's how this life we live in works. Your choices are simple: roll with it n heal, refuse to accept it n close your heart off to everyone, or refuse to accept it n pursue him anyway - risking any number of consequences ranging from causing him to truly hate you n thus never even want a friendship with you to being dubbed a stalker n possibly having charges drawn against you. I know I sound hatsh, I am not trying to be. I am however, trying to be real with you. There are some things those of us with BPD just do not like to face and if given any hope - will hang on forever. Breaking up is one of them.

Remember n treasure the good times you had. Learn from mistakes you made. Figure out ways to not make them moving forward in future relationships. Give yourself a chance to heal. Realize, just bc you made mistakes, does not make you a bad person. It makes you human. Forgive yourself. Learn to love yourself. Look for the things in you that he once saw and that you also admire - grow those. Look for the things you dislike - get rid of those. Be good to yourself. You deserve it. You are a good person.

Once you have done n can believe those things - you are ready to move forward in life. You are ready to be happy. To find someone new. Go for it. ❤