On the topic of being snapped at & getting tired of taking it any more, you seem to be on a roller coaster eith this like 3 months sho when he was in the hospital, you had it with him then too.

What I found personally when it came to tolerating H crap, it was like a glass with water dripping into it until it finally gets so full, one last drop make the whole glass overflow. Not good getting pushed to that point & then doing it over & over again. There will be only so mant times that you will be able to handle that overflow & let more drips back in only to overflow again. For me is created a melt down that only walking out (maybe running) could solve & i was in horrible shape & it took a long time to recover even at 2100 miles away.

Please be careful not to push yourself to that point. I know you feel like its not right to walk out. Msybe getting this other care will allow yiu to stay more in your own place & get the distance you need to be able to tolerate him with good things.

Definitely be careful on caregivers & make sure everything is locked up when they are around.

The caregiver my mom ended up having was supposedly an RN for oncoligy patients & a friend of my mother's BF'S daughter who lived axross the street from the BF. She was a scam artist, stole all my moms valuable jewelry before I could get it licked up, tried to steal her wedding ring right off her hand, caught her writing checks (i put stop psyment on so she never cashed them). I caught her on the phone kne morning applying fora CC usjng my moms ID, stole several CC's from my mom, to cover herself up she called APS & the police came out to the house accusing me of abusing my mom which they found no evidence of. Then later that same morning she OD'Ed my mom on her morphine. I made the paramedics take my mom to the hospital because I needed to get control of the situation. That horrible person volunteered to continue caring for my mom in the hospital. I kicked her out, security at the hospital suggested my mom be in there with an alias, I filed a repirt with APS myself & went to the police the next day. There wasnt enough proof for the DA to file charges against her mostly because I stopped payment on the checks. It was such A trauma for me, I swear I eill die before I ever put my own daughter in a situation like that. People said that no one does something like ltat to a nk one like my mom but her little house had value that this person I sure had her eye on manipulating to get. Just beware & dont hire anyone not licensed or bonded. No one should ever go through a trauma like that. i spent the next 3 weeks sleeping in the chair next to my mom's hospital bed because I didnt trust that slme danger would come to her just to get even for me stopping the plot & pin some kind of blame on me. Sounded parinoid but after living through those days of hell I had no trust in what else could happen. Ended up putting my mom in a nursing home close to my home where only select people knew whete she was. What a horrible way for life to end with cancer....sadly because of some bad choices she made herself because of her desire to stay in her own home that wasnt build to meet the needs of a cancer patient.

Awareness helps.