I had a lot of physical abuse in my childhood. And had to witness it happening to my siblings and mother. It was sickening. Although logically I knew the shame for that belonged with the perpetrator (my father), somehow it transferred to me.

My older brother later confided that he felt the same. He felt 'disgusted with himself' for not 'saving' us.

I got away from home quite young. I thought I would never outgrow the self-disgust I felt. For instance, I couldn't imagine ever having a relationship with a man.

Dear friends and a gentle, wise boyfriend, made me see that I could.

I very much hope you have a similar experience. You have looked into your therapist's eyes and seen your true (beautiful) self reflected in them.