I've made some really foolish and hurtful mistakes in the past because of "love" and sex.

I learned a lot from it about what I have a tendency to do and what I really want out of a relationship. It's completely different than what I started out trying to get. So, at least that pain was useful.

It's going to be very hard to find because I have high expectations of myself and my partner as far as how to love each other, and, if most people could find someone they can do that with, more relationships would last. Also I'm pretty eccentric, so the possibility of finding someone compatible is... well, I'm putting finding that to a miracle.

So, I've decided not to LOOK for a relationship. Looking gets me in trouble. I keep hoping I'll stumble on someone online, but it hasn't happened. Might meet someone in person, I suppose, but there aren't many opportunities. A relationship would be very nice but I've learned that I feel lonelier in a bad relationship than I do being single.