Quote:
Originally Posted by Xynesthesia
. . .
I know that my thinking about it in this way is, in part, related to my own avoidant tendencies, but they actually protected me from delusion and harm in therapy, I think. Well, they protected me from therapy in general, we could say  |
May very well have been good use of some self-protective tendencies, seems like. I didn't have enough intrinsic ego strength, or something, and I tried very hard to "be a good girl", be a "good client", do what seemed to be "expected" of me to do -- and hence invalidated my own tendencies, falling deep into the delusion and more and more harm that I didn't consciously know was possible -- eventually reenacting the damage from family of origin, which I have processed much of, thankfully, I hope.
But I still need a "safe" place to learn to be real AND interact with other people who are sometimes, in varying degrees, real.
Ain't nothing like that "out there" and I'm tired -- but still posting on here! ;-0