Thanks for addressing my question and responding sincerely...

Do you feel like your 'strict' father was emotionally distant and failed to openly express love/affection for you (at least at times of your life)? If so, could this have created a void (sense of lacking) inside and influenced you to seek out attention from other older men (online)? You were still an adolescent when you started experiencing these adult men mistreating and abusing you. This would contribute to an individual developing a very distorted (inaccurate) perception of what genuine love/affection/caring really is - and a distorted self-image and sense of self-worth. Now you are older and find yourself continuing to be drawn to male figures who disrespect you and do not show you any genuine love/caring - males who take advantage of you and use you for their selfish interests/desires. You do not deserve to be treated this way - no one does! You will never find what you are deeply longing for by continuing to engage in these types of abusive relationships. Do you want to continue following a path that cannot lead you to your desired destination? Do you want to help yourself, or remain in your current state/condition/mindset where you continue to feel incomplete and unfulfilled? If you want to help yourself, then you must make an effort to alter and change the current manner in which you are perceiving. I would respectfully encourage you to focus on any and all emotional wounds that are tied/connected to your relationship with your father. And if you can find a quality therapist in your area, it could be really beneficial to have someone to support you and help you navigate your way through this.