I don’t work and haven’t for a long time. 8 years I think. I’ve always thought I would go back and things would smooth out but that’s not the case. I want to work but fear I’m not allowed. In group they said that if you ever went out on stress leave it was noted for all future employers to see and I fear that even should I get better, I won’t be allowed to work. I’m so afraid of this but seeing how sick I am working feels unrealistic. Working was killing me and being unemployed is just as bad. I don’t know if I will be allowed to work again and it feels very hopeless.