I felt this way about my school counsellor, years later I dont think about her much but every now and again I dream Im making my way to her door but I cant reach it. If I have one of these dreaded dreams it brings it all back for a couple of days. Feeling like Im back there and nobody could help me except this one person who kept a secret nobody else could and understood. But I couldnt get to her. It still physically hurts. It hurt every day in the beginning and now just every few months after one of those dreams. But Im starting to think I wasnt actually in love with her, she just represented something I never had. I know I wont replace her with anyone else. It will just go when I heal myself. I hope yours does too