Came close last night...something else happened....family %#@&#! erupted...victim of abuse and I was watching my nephew and my bro&sis were drinking...got violent...one pulled a knife...they were hitting each other and going against walls and %#@&#!...I had to save the baby and we hid for a while...but I was abused and it was like...I saved him because I wished somebody would have saved me....idk.

so traumatizing. I almost SI'd. so close. it would have been bad. I caught myself...ran 4 miles at 5 am after no sleep. came home so exhausted I couldn't even think of SI anymore. So I guess that's good.

why does it have to be so hardddddddddddddddddddddddd. =*[