Yes, I do this kind of thing sometimes (used to do it all the time). I have a mixture of shame & pleasure when watching triggering films. I think for me, it takes me to a place where I don't exactly feel safe, but I feel like I know what's expected of me - almost normal. Anything with kids getting hurt makes me very sad, but it appeals to an alter within me, who recognises it and what her role would be if she was there (how to behave like a 'good girl' & what to feel). The abuse I survived started very early & went on for so long, that pain is almost normal, and the non-abusive world seems strange to me sometimes.

I'm trying to get better at this, but it's taking a long time. The fact that I only watched the 1st episode of Game of Thrones, and never watched it again, is a testament to my improval. Refusing to watch women, children & animals being hurt in that show because of 'plot' means I'm getter better!

I hope this makes sense.