Quote:
Originally Posted by eskielover
since when is protecting yourself being mean....its called SELF-DEFENSE. If I have to harm someone in SELF-DEFENSE its NOT being mean they are just getting what they deserve & whst they asked for because they treated me in a way that required me to respond that way. All he cares about is what he gets from you of it wouldnt be done in secret. NOTHING virtuous is ever done in secret like that.
Any DECENT relationship is an equal partnership with equal respect & equal love....that is not what you are involved in & it will NEVER be that way.
The only way for you to stop this is to cut all connections.
What are you REALLY getting out of this relationship that makes you refuse to let go?
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I´m not sure if this makes any sense but i´ll try to explain why i am with him even though he does not make me happy. At all.
It´s like i´m obsessed with him. Like my brain is completely stuck on this one person. We met when i was 16, i was in a bad place and i viewed him as my savior. He viewed himself a my savior too. I think he actually had good/normal intentions at first, but he let it go to his head. He says he like control and power which is completely okay, many people like bdsm. But i have actually told him that i don´t want bdsm things, i just want normal relationship things.
I´m scared of being alone. I´ve tried to break up with him twice, in the past. One time because my gut feeling told me so, i changed my mind an hour after i did it. Could not take the guilt. Second time it was because i was a bit scared of being intimate with him. It ended up with us having sex and not breaking up after all.
I really should go to therapy....I was evaluated by one a few months ago, and she sent me home and said i was completely fine.