I just wanna be happy
I dont know what makes me happy anymore

Smoking weed makes me feel better and able to put up with stuff a lot more... so for more than half my life i have believed it to make me happy..

When someone is genuinely giving me attention i feel better.. wanted.. but ive put up so many walls i think that i dont think that i really allow anyone to give me attention anymore...

I dont know what i like about myself...
Everything about me seems messed up anymore and cant do anything right
I used to be kind of smart... but im just stupid now because i cant think... focus... or remember anything...
I try to play music but fail because of my problems and dont get anywhere with that...
I just cant think of anything...

I understand what you mean though.. and appreciate it.. i just scared that maybe its too late...

I need real friends... but i have never had real friends before so i dont think it will happen now.. especially since i have so much trust problem...

Im just scared that its over

My mind keeps replaying things... how ****ed up i am and how weird i act... things i said or didnt say... everything i done wrong... or thought i should of done different...

I just want to run away, to disappear