Hmm. For many years, I think our biggest problem was we spent a lot of time protecting each other from ourselves, so we weren't always completely open with each other about how we were doing. We spent a lot of time taking responsibility for the other person's well-being and happiness. What we had to learn is that as well meaning as that was, it created a lack of open communication between us and we put a lot of guilt on ourselves because we felt responsible for making each other happy. That's a fruitless endeavor. Every individual has to be responsible for themselves, and we have to respect each other enough to be open and honest about our own struggles and problems.

Once we started really talking honestly to each other about what was going on within ourselves, we really found out we are both much stronger than we gave each other credit for. We stopped trying to "fix" each other, and started "fixing" ourselves individually. As stronger individuals, we became a stronger couple.

Our relationship is now very honest. It is a relationship without fear -- without fear of being too much for the other person. On the contrary, we now have complete faith that as a couple we can handle whatever crap the world throws at us, and the world frequently throws crap our way. We are truly supportive of each other in our individual struggles now rather than just trying to "fix" the other or trying to hide reality from the other.