As our illustrious key tones has said, these are hard ... especially when you've had dysthymia like me for so long.

I lived in a large city in those days....

As a teenager, I was coming home from school on a late December afternoon. It was after 4 o'clock and completely dark already. The temperature was just a mild degree or two below freezing and it had snowed. Big fluffy, soft, lovely snow blanketed the yards and houses. The city traffic had already cleared the major road which was shiny with wetness, like a dark gently flowing river. The street and car lights made everything easy to see without dispelling the surrounding cocooning darkness and warmly lit houses. The moist air was not bitter or damp, rather it was gentle and comforting. The traffic and Christmas lights added red and green lights to the white. Pretty red, green, white halos shone back off the wet roads.

I was surrounded by colourful light and human life and activity and mild elements that were soothing, embracing, and yet invigorating. I felt alive.