t, i had another one of my driving-home-from-work realizations today. it came after i realized i'm not completely freaking out about the deal with my son's friend. it's scary for sure, and i'm not interfering any more than to just tell my son i'm here if y'all need me, but i'm handling my own feelings about it. i had to ask for support on here earlier today but i'm feeling ok now. what i realized on the way home is that the reason i'm ok is because i have hope. hope that it's all going to be okay somehow. and further i realized where that hope comes from. and it's good. i'm finding resources inside myself like we talked about not too long ago. resiliancy i'd forgotten was there.