Yes pegasus.... you are sick and that is why you feel like you do. You are also getting well. Getting better all the time. It is an up and down battle you wage and days like today make it harder to see the progress you've made. But you have made progress. You have learned new skills and acquired new understandings that you apply to your life.

You know when you post here that others will understand the depths of your pain. We encourage you to hang on because we know like you know that good days get thrown in now and then and they give us hope. We see each other getting better and we see each other struggle. We celebrate each others joys and we comfort each others sorrows.

A new day will dawn and the clouds will part and the sun will shine from the deepest places in your heart. You will know joy and that is reason to breath. Reason to care for your body, soul and spirit. Reason to be ready and able to face the good the bad and the ugly everyday.

The end comes soon enough.... I doubt anyone rushes it without regrete. I lost my mom to suicide and while I understand what drove her to it I've no doubt she'd have rather stayed if only she could have mastered the effects of her pain and sorrow.

I pray that we all retain the strength and determination to master the effects of our pain and sorrow. To not fall victim in our moments of weakness but to rise above the pain and sorrow to hope for all things to be made right in its perfect time. To patiently trust and believe and live in accordance to our own hopes and dreams.

Be the dream...... dance in the rain till the rainbow comes.