IMO, it's easier to take your mask off here because you are somewhat anonymous. It can also be helpful just to write privately/for yourself.

I wonder if by feeling "different" you are saying you don't feel accepted. You might be more accepted than you realize but are just struggling in some way. For instance, for a couple of years after I attempted, whenever I was in a crowd, I felt like if anyone knew what I had done, I would not be accepted. I felt like I was different than nearly everyone else with the exception of others at PC who were also suicidal like I was. So I hope that we make you feel accepted and unconstrained when you post here.