I am so sad and sorry abut the way this turned out. I think this is reality for how all T's feel about all patients, with a few exceptions veering into love/or hate bc of human nature. One thing you do get, probably more than and differently from her daughter and husband is the very best of her undivided attention. If she takes her work seriously, and sees it as a calling, then you are part of that while they are not.

Writing to her that you don't want to see her again is so natural. This is a big lesson therapy teaches us- we are there to learn about ourselves and fall in love with ourselves, and the T herself isn't so much the point but a guide or conduit. In this case, you will hurt your self, SH, by taking your T away from yourself. You might have to write again and say that, and that you want to continue the work.

It would be hard for me to love my students in the way that if they asked me seriously I love you do you love me, I could say yes. That doesn't mean I don't adore them, and even invest love in some of them, but I would never ever say so. If she did love you, I don't believe she would ever say it any way. Their rules & ethics are strict.

My T is leaving for Thanksgiving, after a few shattering sessions in which he has asked and asked for trust and a ton of revelation. Now he is like see ya wouldn't want ta be ya. My nose is completely rubbed in the fact that I am his work, his job, while his family he loves. I think the reason I want his love though, is backwards and about how I have revealed so much and told him things I have never told a soul. Backwards because I didn't confide in him bc I loved him first- he was a stranger; I started to want love from him after the acts of confiding. I am so cognizant that is why they don't confide in us. We associate heart to heart talks with intimacy and love, and we should- that is healthy, we are socialized . In these cases though, the intimacy is one way- one heart is talking and the other heart is omitting talk. It is no wonder the client feels more love than the T.

A sad thing is how my attachment to my T is taking over my other relationships. I have a boyfriend who loves me, but I just am addicted to my T who doesn't care once his work day/week is done.