Quote:
Originally Posted by raspberrytorte
I posted awhile back about how my cat was dying of liver failure and only had roughly a week left to live, according to the vet.
Well, he's still around.
He won't eat by himself anymore, so we've been syringe feeding him. He pukes up about half of the food we give him. He spends a lot of time hiding in the closet. He is not happy. He's so sick.
When do we say goodbye?
We've been talking about going to the vet and having him put to sleep, because he seems so miserable and is terminally ill and is getting worse by the day.
The only problem is that I don't want to say goodbye! I love him so much. I'll never be ready to say goodbye to him. He's my buddy. This is so hard.
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Oh this is heart-breaking! I know what you're going through, I just went through this decision-making process with my kitty of 17 years a couple of months ago. I hadn't been in so much pain, felt so much sorrow, since I can remember.
I would say: think about what she would want. Hiding is not a good sign at all, and often indicates pain/discomfort. Is she ready to go? I was never ready to say goodbye, there just came a time when she was 'telling' me that she needed to go. Listen to her carefully. Look at her closely.
I would also say this: what has helped me, in saying goodbye, have been rituals. Candles, photos, her favorite things... Placing them in front of me, crying my eyes out, and getting ready to say goodbye.
Afterwards, more rituals: a scrapbook with photos and butterflies from a scrapbook store, writing to her every day -about how much I loved her and still do, about our relationship and all the times we had together. I write about my mourning process. All of this is in the first person, as if I were writing to her. I've done this with my last two cats and it has been very therapeutic. I write until I just don't need to anymore.
Finally, and I know this sounds premature, but getting a new kitty, when you're ready, can be extremely helpful. It certainly has been for me. My new kitty looks nothing like my old one and this helps as well. He has comforted me immensely and I think he's happy here.
It's a heart-wrenching decision. My mother, who adores animals and has had to euthanize many in her day, has always told me that your pet will 'tell' you when they're ready to go. As I said before, just listen to her carefully.
I wish you and your kitty the best. It's awful what you're going through. Be strong, but mourn and cry all you need. I bought boxes and boxes of tissues for the days following, and used them all.
I also wanted to add something my vet told me: you don't want to wake up one morning and find that she has passed, or get home from work (if you work) or just from being out, and find her gone. If you euthanize her, you will have the opportunity to say goodbye and to be with her when it happens: she won't be alone.