This was a problem for us in the past, but has not been problematic since this group of us took over life. I think avoidance was how it was handled before. The spouse guy was more than cool with it so not doing things was a simple solution that worked for them, us, whatever. They never tried to figure out a solution that I am aware of. But maybe they did, I can ask the SO guy later when he shows up and let you know if they did do problem solving on that end. If they did, I'll let you know.

I'm not sure what changed from then to now, but we don't have issues like that anymore. I don't know exactly why that is. I mean, we are certainly a switchy, flip floppy bunch and we have no shortage of kids/teens showing up to do the life thing. We also have a grown asexual guy in here. He never shows up in times like that either. It seems like this would be a problem for us, but nah. I guess I just figured it's because most of us in this group have decent co con and our younger ones and the asexual guy... well, they like the SO now and have had positive interactions with him (last group not so much). The husband guy has gone so far as to take our one teen/slider on motorcycle rides and our other slider/kid to a state park and such. They interact a lot because they are here a lot, so they know him and I guess I figured they don't want to get in the way of his interactions with others so they just stay away from that. I don't know if that's a right assessment of the situation, but I don't have any thoughts in my head that it's wrong. And I'm pretty sure if I was wrong, Gwen would be chiming in to correct me. Heh. She's a sport about that.

It's also worth mentioning that those us us here now who avoid physical intimacy are ones of us who are more solid in who they are than past ones of us have been.. they live life, and know it is now and not the past so that has to help as well.

I have to wonder if you feeling a shift in this is perhaps an indicator that I dunno how to say it... maybe your love/trust for her is somehow resonating in you as a whole? It can be slow moving with terrified and traumatized parts and I wonder if her love and patience with them, for them, is something they understand now? Maybe they trust her, yeah? Not saying jump in and go for it, but maybe ease into it slowly, building on physical contact? Show the scared ones that it's ok, that she is ok? Just thinkin...

Best I got there, but I certainly wish you well in this. That and give you tons of kudos for speaking up. I know it's not easy to do.

A/V