I know my T1 was unsure of how to handle something with me, even though she'd been seeing clients for about 40 years. When I told her about my transference for my marriage counselor, she wasn't sure how I should address it with him and said she wanted to consult (anonymously) with a couple other therapists (not him, obviously). That suggested to me she hadn't dealt with a client with transference for a marriage counselor before. She later said that my transference for MC "is as intense as it gets," which made it seem like she hadn't seen someone with transference of my intensity before.

She's also said other things that suggest she hasn't heard some things I've told her from other clients. Like she's saaid how it's unusual that I have OCD yet have a messy house (you'd think she'd know it could manifest itself in many different ways!) And that I'm the first person she knew to have panic attacks from exercising.

All of these things made me feel sort of like a weirdo. It felt a bit pathologizing, particularly the transference part.

MC is one who's told us (in this case when we were anxious talking about sex) how "I'm a psychologist, I've heard everything!" Which was rather comforting compared to T1's characterization of some things. Though I suspect I may be the only client who figured out that his wife was sick and, later, that she'd passed away, and he seemed unsure to handle that at times...actually saying things like, "I'm not sure how to handle this," regarding my concerns about her and wanting more info than he was willing to give (he's generally quite open about personal stuff, disclosing quite a lot). So...I guess that was an area he hadn't dealt with before maybe, but it was kind of specific and a difficult topic anyway...

T2 has been pretty normalizing--he hasn't so far said anything like "I've seen everything." But he said how transference is very common, including for marriage counselors. If anything I've told him so far has surprised or shocked him, he's done a good job of hiding it (and I've shared quite a bit in the past few months that I've been seeing him...) I appreciate that about him.

Though I will say, regarding T1, I like that when she was unsure how to handle something with me, she consulted others (and was open about doing that). If something like that comes up with T2, I'd certainly rather he consult if he's unsure instead of trying to muddle through. (Not that consulting would make them immune from screwing up, of course...)

Maybe the best thing for them to say would be something like, "I've seen a lot of things since I've been practicing, but clients do still surprise me sometimes."