Unfortunately, what happens is when it comes to a society (culture) there is this push to have members of that society fit into a structure and ideal and that can put pressure on a person to try to be something they are simply not set up to be. For example, if the "ideal" to fit in and be accepted is based on color and a person has the wrong skin color, that can impede that person's ability to be accepted just based on that alone which is not something a person can change.

I happened to watch a documentary yesterday about Micheal Jackson and it was actually incredible to learn about the journey he had to take to FINALLY be recognized for the amazing talent he had. He was so incredibly talented, brilliant really, yet he had so many obstacles that many don't realize he had to figure out how to get around before he got the recognition for the amazing talent that he was world wide. As talented as he was, he gradually became more comfortable being a bit of a recluse. Also, because his father began using him at such a young age, he never really got to have a normal childhood, so he never really matured in certain areas developmentally. Also, because he was often put down for his skin color, and was picked on for his nose, he was never allowed to just be comfortable with his own presence. This led to him engaging in partaking in too much plastic surgery where he began to look strange. The sad part about that is that he was NEVER ugly or bad looking.

When someone is picked on at a very young age or pushed into things they are really not mentally ready for, this can lead to a distorted way of trying to overcome the injuries that presents in an individual psychologically.

One of the things I did not know is that when Micheal Jackson was filming that pepsi commercial and the pyrotechnics happened to catch his hair on fire that was full of flammable chemicals to get his hair to maintain a certain look, he suffered a lot of damage to his scalp. He was burned so bad he was in a lot of pain and had to take a lot of strong pain killers, that was the beginning of him becoming addicted to these drugs. He never was able to stop using these drugs that was what eventually the cause of his early death. Truth is that he was bald from this damage and had to wear wigs and even used glue in an effort to make what he managed to put together for hair to make it look natural. When he was taken away in an ambulance and being wheeled to be treated in the emergency hospital the one thing he worried about and asked for is to cover his head and to give him his glove to wear (remember one of his trademarks was to wear one glove). By him getting that glove put on his hand, it made him feel "safe" where he held onto his own identity which that glove was a part of "his" identity that was unique to him.

So, it's not WRONG or even strange for you to want to embrace your own "identity" in whatever way you "feel" your own identity as long as your identity isn't about causing harm to others. You are not alone in having the desire to be appreciated and respected for who you are either, in fact that is a very basic human desire. And you are correct in how some of the ideals presented that are supposed to men "someone is special and worthy of respect" can be rather dumb.