Quote:
Originally Posted by L.P.
Amandalouise.. I had a drop my head moment reading your reply. Heh. It was half me who did the last withdrawal/detox thing. I was the one who came off the klonopin. I have to laugh at myself... it was easier for me to go cold turkey off that stuff (which I should not have done, nor should anyone else for that matter) than it is for me to quit the smoking. I am an awful quitter, but I persist in being awful at quitting. One of these times it will stick.
Have to say it's cool though how you had system members step up and step in and help out like that. Way to look out and help out. Way cool. And congrats to you on your wins.
AlwaysChanging2.. Congrats to you as well. The more I hear about those vape pens, the more I think they might just be the way to go. I finally remembered to ask the SO guy about the one I thought he might have, turns out he did have one but it got broken and he threw it away since he didn't like it anyhow. I might just have to go do the plasma thing and buy one of those (I'm all po' and junk. lulz).
Anyway... still way under what I was but still smoking. I just can't seem to get myself under 6-8 a day. I'm kinda concerned that I'll just slowly work my way back up to where I was before. That's why the vape thing sounds so good... the pen controls the nicotine levels, not actual cigarettes... seems like a safer route to me... wouldn't matter if I did get occasionally nuts with the hand to mouth thing and I'd still be slowly working my way down. So yeah, still trying to move forward, still trying to not be annoyed with me for smoking, still calling it a win since I'm not smoking as much, still not quitting on quitting, still trying hard to remember this will help us... not there yet though. Eh.
A/V
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please dont get me wrong here it wasnt easy. if it was I would not have dissociated.. what I was saying is that it was just like any other triggering thing in my life... trauma I dissociated and an alter took control and handled that, sex I got triggered dissociated and my sexualized alters took care of that. if I was having problems with withdrawal from drugs alcohol and smoking I was triggered/ dissociated and the alters handled that....
its just the way dissociation worked in me. anytime I was triggered/ could not handle something I had my dissociation symptoms and an alter took control.
I did have it easier than say my best friend who did not have DID and alters. she had to withstand the cravings shakes, headaches, and all else that came with her quitting smoking.
but in reality it wasnt easy on me because the moment the withdrawal symptoms came I dissociated (felt numb, spaced out and disconnected) which in turn caused an alter to take control. you might say I went through quitting smoking more than once because there was me and there was the alters that were smokers and then there were the non smokers that were there to deal with withdrawal ...
no its not easy but I did have others inside who did their sense of agency where drugs and alcohol and smoking was concerned.
thanks it was cool having a built in system of handling traumatic things like this but on the other end of things it was not very good either.