I realize now that I have suspicions that undermine progress at times.

I've learned since a wee small one,(and into adulthood) that others in a caring position are NOT to be trusted-- they will be sneaky and hurt and then deny all.............

So, here i'm all grown up-- and I've recently become aware that I question (in my mind-- paranoia, I guess)) others motive's (In my 3-d life).... just what is "up their sleeve"???? well, I just started back with therapy, a new therapist, and I find those suspicions there too.

The last session, I'd talked about how in every relationship I've been in (mother/daughter, father/daughter, sister/sister, husband/wife), I get pushed aside..... it's complicated, but I did give her a history of it -- as she sat in disbelief at how I held my temper through such situations.
Then, the following day, after our session...... she calls, telling me she has to reschedule our next session as something has come up outside of her work and she regrets she can't make it to meet me at our set time.

All right!! now how coincidental can it get?? The very next day-- after divulging all that!! she can't make our set time??? is this a "head game"???? does she REALLY have something that came up? or is she trying to see how I cope with adversity???

this is why therapy is so hard for me...... my mom always played "head games" with me and others.... I hated that!!

When one finds it hard to not be suspicious, how can one put down their guard?
I guess I'll go at the new time, on Tuesday, and see how it goes........

thanks--- just had to vent a bit...... so many other struggles...... had to let this confusion out of my head.....

mandy