I've been feeling very depressed and even had thoughts of wishing I would die, although I'd never do anything, because I couldn't do that to my dog. I've been struggling with a lot of feelings for my T and its contributing to my mindset.

Anyway, I got and was so quiet today, he asked a few things and I answered and that was that. I kept all the pain in but I trust him more than anyone, now I am angry with myself I have to sit on this all again another week and hope that I am brave enough to speak up then. I don't get what came over me, why I just shut down when I was waiting days to talk to him.... sigh....